I like beating Gawker to the punch

Although I'm also slightly disappointed by my own lack of originality.

Unfortunate deaths and other things....

Two in the news this morning...

Pastor electrocuted while performing baptism
I would make some joke about the entering in of the Holy Spirit but there is a strange twist to this story. I learned about it before it popped up online because the deceased is a good friend of my coworker's boyfriend. So she was pretty shook up this morning and I will refrain from making any cracks in deference to her...

...but you do have to wonder. Pastors have been using microphones during full immersion baptisms for decades yet it seems obvious they can pose an electrocution hazard. Why are such deaths not more common? Are there any waterproofed amplification devices on the market that would provide a safe alternative? Maybe this will occassion a cessation of full-immersion baptisms.

And in other news:

Woman falls after dangling from hot air balloon
One of the connecting themes between these two posts are how both included numerous spectators and both ust have been exceedingly terrible to witness. If the balloon accident had occurred in a movie though, the crash through the barn roof would have allowed her to walk away from it.

Justice is served neat, or on the rocks

Four fraternity members sentenced in hazing death

Actually it would be much more fitting, and a lot more fun to imagine, if the headline read:

Four fraternity members senteced to hazing death


But I suppose we can't get everything we want in this world.

Sugar Falls in Manhattan

I actually noticed this smell in the Union Square subway station around 7:30 pm. Considering that the station frequently pulls in odors from street vendors (the L platform always smells like roasted hot dogs) it didn't seem unusual. But it was quite distinctive...and very pleasant, even homey. It was immediately recognizable as maple sugar or maple syrup. But maybe it's a deceptively sweet harbinger of danger ahead. An evil attack of...THe Sweet Tooth!

Or something like that.

What's That Smell?
or
Good Smell Perplexes New Yorkers

Just people being stupid. That's all.

I peruse Craigslist somewhat frequently. If you ever have, then you know that the range of stupidity on display is rather impressive. Impressive, that is, until we realize that this is just a fraction of the stupidity occurring in the broader public. Therefore, I have rarely seen occasion to comment on it specifically. But then there is a line like this:

I'm a 23 year old girl...[who is]... interested in many things, mainly sports and other interesting things that enrichen the mind.

Yes, that's right folks. Sports enrichen the mind.

You heard it here first.

~A

Old people are scary...

Here's an equation:

Old people are dangerous drivers.
Florida is filled with old people.
Florida is a dangerous place to drive.

In college I learned how to write that in symbolic logic.

Elderly man drives with body in windshield
Ignore the fact that the headline makes it sound as if he was driving with his own body in his windshield.

Here are some choice quotes:
A 93-year-old driver apparently suffering from dementia fatally struck a pedestrian and drove for three miles with the man's body through his windshield, police said. [emphasis added]

Sure he might have been suffering from dementia, but there are so many other reasonable explanations to consider. Malice, for one.

Ralph Parker was stopped after he drove through a tollbooth on the Sunshine Skyway, Traffic Homicide Investigator Michael Jockers said. The toll taker called police, he said.

The toll was fifty cents per person and obviously the driver underpaid. I wonder even if this was the wierdest thing the toll clerk had ever seen on the turnpike.

The investigator said of the driver: "That was the one thing he had, to get in his car and just drive for the sheer enjoyment of driving," Jockers said. Parker lived alone after his wife died in 1998, authorities said

I completely understand the sheer joy of driving...and mowing down pedestrians. Note the embedded pun. The pedestrian's leg was sheared off in the accident.


And in other news:

Report: 'Makeover' winner has criminal record
PORTLAND, Maine (AP) -- A disabled lobsterman who received a $500,000 log home from the TV show "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" in an episode yet to be aired has a criminal past, including an armed robbery conviction, The Portland Press Herald reported Thursday.

I think he confused the show with the witness protection program.

Spellingbee update

For those not in the know, even though I have been on a spelling bee losing streak, I have made it into the championships tonight. The media is just now catching up to the phenomena with coverage by the NYTimes (accomapanied in print by the above photo), Timeout:



And various other regional media outlets. Tonight the finals will be filmed by Good Morning America. Be sure to catch my failed attempt at glory tomorrow on national tv. And check out the spelling bee web page.

Most of the credit for this coverage is due to the organizers of the event, particualrly Jen Dziura.

The odd thing is another friend Josh actually started his bee first and has also been receiving a fair amount of coverage.

It's just that the bee at Pete's is much closer to home.



PS. This posting is the most bloggish of any I've done. It seems you can't call yourself a real blogger unless every post displays an insatiable display of how much you read the web and how many of your friends also have blogs. It's as if the hip bloggers do nothing but prove their hipness and connectivity. This isn't a criticism, but a reason why I will never truly belong to the blogosphere. And I never want to type that word again.

~A

From the news today

I know I have become a member of the blogosphere when so much of my thought gets caught up in the whole Judith Miller megillah of shenanigans, hijinks, and boondoggle. But in other news:

Couple completes coast-to-coast hike
I will take bets on how soon the divorce happens

School 'willing to sponsor a prom, but not an orgy'
But this just shows how outdated the concept of a prom is(abbr. of promenade, and similar in origin to debutante balls and the like). Perhaps, in the increasing pornification of our culture (or should that be calinifornipornification) schools themselves are outmoded and should be replaced by public bordellos. Then they can sponsor orgies unhindered by any educational responsibility and everyone will be happy.

National Zoo names newest baby panda
After the whole Valerie Plame fiasco, I wouldn't be surprised if this turned into a whole new imbroglio. Who leaked the Panda's name? Of course, the Panda ain't talking.

And yet another story proving why school marching bands are dangerous:

Wisconsin bus crash kills 5

See also:
At least 4 dead in U.S. tour bus crash in Canada
Bus crash in Georgia injures about 20 students on band trip
Bus collision injures 130 on way to college football game



That's all for now, I'll try harder to keep up.

~A

No apologies

Hmmm, I think my blogging has slowed because my reading of other blogs has increased. This makes my thoughts less original seeming and leeches a bit of impetus away. Not a big deal. My time has been busy of course, two weddings, media attention, a cold. And too much rain by far.


Never retreat, never surrender


~A

My recent activities...

But first, an apology. I have been negligent in updating this blog on as regular a basis as some readers (and I know there are only some readers) may have been grown to accustom. There is both a good reason (hectic schedule) and a bad reason (sheer laziness).

But I will fill you in. I typically am quite enamored of autumn. It is not only the seasonal change of weather but that more new things (and better things) seem to happen to me at this time of year than in any other period. This last week is a case in point. I attended a strip club as part of my friend's bachelor party. This was a longstanding desire of mine; not because I expected to enjoy it but simply because it is an immensely peculiar experience I thought I should know about. It was precisely that.

Secondly, my photo did indeed end up on the cover to the Thursday Styles section in the New York Times. This is most definitely a first for me. I should note here that many people comented upon my photo's placement beneath the heel of kate Moss. I found this apropos. The photo was omitted from the NYTime online edition; this has limited it's exposure and doomed my one chance at fame. But I have no regrets.

On Wednesday, after returning from a night out and a few beers, I hurriedly cleaned my apartment in approach of my brother's arrival later that evening. However, I fell into such a profound sleep afterwards that I did not hear him call, ring the doorbell, or pound on the door. He was forced to convince my neighbor to allow him to crawl out her window so he could walk across the fire escape and come in through my window. This certainly has never happened to me before and I am sure I have fallen in more than one person's estimation in return.

On Saturday I went to a wedding in Manhattan, my first in the city, and for various reasons I secured a hotel room that evening for me and my date. I have never done this before. It worked out quite favorably.

In light of these astounding events (I might call it a miracle week) I can only hope the rest of the season continues in the same tenor. If it doesn't, I shall still have good reason to look forward to this time next year.


~A