Old people are scary...

Here's an equation:

Old people are dangerous drivers.
Florida is filled with old people.
Florida is a dangerous place to drive.

In college I learned how to write that in symbolic logic.

Elderly man drives with body in windshield
Ignore the fact that the headline makes it sound as if he was driving with his own body in his windshield.

Here are some choice quotes:
A 93-year-old driver apparently suffering from dementia fatally struck a pedestrian and drove for three miles with the man's body through his windshield, police said. [emphasis added]

Sure he might have been suffering from dementia, but there are so many other reasonable explanations to consider. Malice, for one.

Ralph Parker was stopped after he drove through a tollbooth on the Sunshine Skyway, Traffic Homicide Investigator Michael Jockers said. The toll taker called police, he said.

The toll was fifty cents per person and obviously the driver underpaid. I wonder even if this was the wierdest thing the toll clerk had ever seen on the turnpike.

The investigator said of the driver: "That was the one thing he had, to get in his car and just drive for the sheer enjoyment of driving," Jockers said. Parker lived alone after his wife died in 1998, authorities said

I completely understand the sheer joy of driving...and mowing down pedestrians. Note the embedded pun. The pedestrian's leg was sheared off in the accident.


And in other news:

Report: 'Makeover' winner has criminal record
PORTLAND, Maine (AP) -- A disabled lobsterman who received a $500,000 log home from the TV show "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" in an episode yet to be aired has a criminal past, including an armed robbery conviction, The Portland Press Herald reported Thursday.

I think he confused the show with the witness protection program.