My latest CL post

Yes, I'm addicted. Not to the cheap sex and quick thrills--those are nice--but to the instant gratification of writing little humorous squibs. Perhaps it's a way of stoking my ego, though since I hardly get any responses, I don't know why that would work. I like this concept, but I think the post needs some tweaking.

Welcome to the Museum of Me!

Hi! So glad you could stop by and visit this wonderful cultural landmark: Me! Let me show you around.

On your right, in the early years gallery, you can see exhibits of important childhood development. Yes, I was cute as a button then; all down hill after that. Star Wars toys, stuffed animals, all original! You clearly see the passage through my fireman phase, my cowboy phase and my ballerina phase. Embarrassing now, sure, but key stages in my growth. These rooms are slated for renovation in 2008.

On your left are the early school years fully documenting playground beatings, the developing inability to compete at sports, and a growing egotism. Y’know, the sense that I’m special is written all over this place really. Vitrines 1-8 contain my crushed hopes. Also note the beginning creative streak in the drawings of superheroes, spaceships and explosions. Gotta love those explosions!

Up ahead are the rooms devoted to the late school years and high school. I should warn you, some visitors find these galleries oppressive. But the exhibits are leavened by a growing intelligence and self awareness even as that’s balanced by increasing depression and nihilism. The art is really quite good here but the poetry won’t win any awards. You can buy copies in the gift shop. Ignore the preppy style. It was all the fashion then.

We’ll skip over the college years and the 20s. Really it’s just more of the same. But stop back to see my pony tail and combat boots. I make no apologies. The new galleries for my 30s just opened. Nice aren’t they? Real modern. You can practically sense a growing optimism and confidence in the design and displays. Lots of books here. Sure I’ve read all my life, but it makes a better impact all displayed together. Is there a question in the back? That’s quite observant, no art. Turns out there was no money in art for me. Books! Books were my future…and information design. But it sounds better to say books. Hey, is somebody smoking? No smoking is allowed in the galleries. Take that outside, bucko.

We’re out of time for now. But please visit the Museum of Me again! New galleries open every year. The cafeteria is down the stairs to your left. And remember that admission is free Mondays and Wednesdays (or whenever you read this message) and Fridays and Saturdays we’re open late for singles night! Soon we’re expecting our 100th visitor. Stop by again and you could be the lucky one!

Then we’ll have to open the Museum of We. I’ll look forward to it.