from 1010Wins

Good Samaritan Drowns Off Rockaways

This is yet another example of what is coming to be seen as a rising tide of crimes involving so-called "Samaritans". Long seen as destabilizing elements in society, good Samaritans have begun forming loose knit groups or "gangs", engaging in turf wars, and seeking out illicit businesses for earning money (such as extorting "protection" money), all in the name of "helping people". A spokesman for the Brownsville Samaritans, one of the more notorious arrgregations of such do-gooders, was quoted as saying "We believe in the good word, i.e., God helps those who help themselves. So we're helping ourselves all over the place and if you stand in our way, we'll cap your ass." The spokesman wished to remain anonymous. The drowning yesterday, allegedly stemming from an attempt to "help" a swimmer, follows on last week's death of a Manhattan Samaritan who was hit by car while reportedly "saving" a pedestrian. The pedestrian refused to be interviewed, a typical pattern as Samaritans are reportedly intimidating witnesses. Police are still seeking the driver of the vehicle.

Police report a particular turf war tactic apparently rising in popularity as well. Coined the "Tar Baby" tactic, as in "Dude, they went all tar baby on your ass" the practice involves a gang member posing as a person in need to entrap Samaritans of other gangs.

~A


PS. What well-known, or perhaps really obscure, comic character's favorite sidearm was named The Samaritan? I actually forget the answer to this question, someone will have to tell me.

I found out the answer to this myself actually. The answer wasn't as obscure as I had hoped.