And in late breaking news

My activities in the Spelling Bee got me invited to a photo shoot last night. Seems the NY Times wants to run a story in the Style section this week so they made us get together and fake pose a bee on a night when there wasn't one. See if I make the news.

Didn't I mention that's why I participate? Because I knew it was an easy road to fame and fortune.

~A

Did I mention the bachelor party?

I can't post the details here. No, really I can't. It's not that I believe Ben's evening out shouldn't be broadcast to the world, far from it. It's simply that you never quite know who is reading and who oughn't be reading. If you wish to know details, please see me in person. Meanwhile, read the next post.


I will say one thing....I kinda (but only kinda) regret the prostitute.


~A

Apropos to the next post...

Pamela Anderson seeks restraining order





On her breasts, the bras just don't seem to be reigning them in anymore.



And in other news, what qualities might we most like to see in the director of the government institution most responsible for the safety of our food and pharmaceuticals? CNN has the answer--

New FDA chief: Reputation for optimism

He must be on Zoloft.

~A

CL today...

And this was under W4M mind you...

NEED SOMEONE THAT KNOWS GOVERNOR

---

Hello.
if you know governor of new york personally or friends with him,
please contact. need help from him.
can pay you. thanks.

Have you seen these mice?

THREE PLAGUED MICE
Authorities are searching for three mice infected with bubonic plague that disappeared from a research lab about two weeks ago. While health experts say the risk to the public is slim to none, the incident highlights security failures at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New

Remember, if you see these mice, do not approach them. They are to be considered armed and dangerous....and smart. Do not be fooled by pleas for water or medical aid, we believe they are acting under orders from unknown terrorist plotters.

~A

The people who help...

Firefighter Charged In News Stand Attack
Sep 12, 2005 2:35 pm US/Eastern
(1010 WINS) (NEW YORK) A firefighter who had just attended a memorial service for a comrade killed in the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks was charged with assaulting an immigrant worker who claimed his attacker told him he looked ``like he's al-Qaida,'' authorities said.

I hope this man never shows up to save my life.


And in other news, president Bush once again states the blatantly obvious, but only to obscure the facts:

"Storm Didn't Discriminate"
President Bush denied Monday there was any racial component to people being left behind after Hurricane Katrina, despite suggestions from critics that the response would have been quicker if so many of the victims hadn't been poor and black. "The storm didn't discriminate and neither will the recovery effort."

This might be crediting Bush with too much subtlety, but it should be noted that he makes no claims as to whether all previous rescue efforts up to now have been discriminatory or racially biased.

And as many sources have noted, the storm did discriminate in effect, if only because poor people were historically disenfranchised and forced to build and live in more fragile, exposed areas and in less sturdy homes.

In this way tornadoes don't discriminate one way or another against trailer homes, but trailer homes get destroyed more than other homes. Therefore if we need to help people recover from tornadoes, we are more likely to be helping poor people.

~A

A most unusual weekend for me

So I had nothing particualrly planned this weekend; that in and of itself is certainly not unusual. However, on Friday night I had drinks on the roof at the Met with a distant cousin (I think he's a first cousin once removed, i.e. he's my Mom's first cousin, but please correct me if I'm wrong). This is a man around the age of fifty who has become interested in family geneology and has the type of outgoing personality where he likes to meet strangers and third cousins and see what their like.

He is an absolute hoot. Turns out his profession is therapeutic touch, he's had long term relationships with men and women (he comes across as very gay), and talking with him was fun. He told me lots of new things about my family (not that there's any big secrets but ina family as big as the one I came from there's just a lot to know). And then, at the end of the evening, when I guess he figured I was all right, he invited me to the men's final of the U.S. Open on Sunday since he had a spare ticket. Holey Moley!

This is the first professional sporting event I have been to as an adult (I think the last was a Cubs game when I was 14, and this doesnt count a few Big 10 football games in college). I had to leave my house yesterday at 8 (an unscionable hour on a Sunday) to meet my cousin in Manhattan at nine, whence we caught the 7 train. We got to Ashe Stadium at 9:30 thinking that the gates opened at 10 and the finals match began at 12. It turns out that the gates opened at eleven and the finals match began at four. So what could we do with our time? Drink bloody mary's. Four or five I think, I'm not too sure. There were also a couple of beers in there. So by the time I stopped drinking when the match started I was not only drunk, I was beginning to sober up and get a hangover. By the time the match ended and we were heading home on the subway, I was absolutely knackered. I had to turn down my cousin's invitation to go to a high profile steak restaurant. Next time he's in town I guess.

As an aside, the match was great though the outcome was utterly predictable. I was just relieved that Agassi didn't crumple. As another aside, after drinks with my cousin on Friday, I went and saw Transporter 2. This is not a movie I would generally reccommend, as there are usually better things to spend one's money on. But for what it was, it was a helluva lotta fun. I convinced my cousin he should go see it because his memories of Transporter 1 weren't so bad.

More from the Tribune

2 bystanders killed in crash after robbery
What began as a botched robbery in a Dolton grocery ended Tuesday morning with a six-car pileup that left a young couple dead one month before they were to be married.

So it began as a botched robbery and ended as a botched getaway. You have o value the consistency.

Michael Jackson writes song for Katrina relief
The title must be something like "Send me your children" or "God helps the cute". But no, it's called "From the Bottom of My Heart". Maybe he should have titled it "From the Heart of My Bottom". I'm just sayin'.

~A

More about New Orleans

One might fairly ask why I haven't posted much about the hurricane. The answer is mainly that everyone else is doing such a good job of it. And while I feel the political development, economic disruption, physical devastation, and the general turmoil to be fascinating and even thrilling, in the light of the loss of life and human suffering it's rather impolite to say so. But I will say one thing...

I predicted it: But storms don't have brains

But who could have known the prediction would come true so quickly. I need to hone my oracular ability. But really, who can't say that.

~A

News from the home county..

Ocaasionally, for fun, I peruse the online edition of my hometown newspaper, the Chicago Tribune. Being a smaller town than New York, the Trib does have a flavor of parochialism and midwestern focus that I find charming. Some of the headlines today:

Man falls picking fruit

Nazi plan: Exploding chocolate
Nazis coop Willy Wonka.

Salt could be disease cure
Go ahead, rub some more salt in that wound.

Probe finds ex-convicts at carnivals
My god, society is disintegrating.

I should probably read this more often.

~A

About New Orleans

Yes, I feel bad for all those people who died, lost family, or just lost their homes. Sure it's a terrible thing. But doesn't it also smack of government incompetence and criminal lack of planning? A city that is always at risk of hurricanes, entirely below sea level, with levees controlled by notoriously fickle pumps, with a large population of poor people, a gigantic petrochemical industry to protect, and otherwise largely dependent on tourism; and this is how they cope?

It makes me grateful for Rudy Giuliani, now that's a natural disaster.

~A

We won! We won!

Finally, decades of toil, gallons of drink, and ages of adolescent angst have paid off: we came in first in the trivia contest at Pete's. This marvellous accomplishment is sullied only by the fact that the quiz last night was truly awful. The people giving it were untalented, wrote poor easy questions, and they got mad at the heckling (which, while unusually fierce last night, is absolutely part of the game). It was probably also the first time we got ten of ten on current events. Onward!

~A