In the news

'Most Wanted' polygamist captured

I think his defense is that he only married so many times because the women wouldn't take no for an answer. It's like being "The world's most eligible polygamist." Now that he's captured, everyone can marry him. It's like some old story about being abducted and held captive by Amazonians for breeding purposes.

Turkey bombs: 'Police hunt two'
Description of suspects: Toms, plump breasts, fully-fledged. Pose risk of flight.
This reminds me that yesterday I was thinking about cockroach and bug bombs and how those terms make it sound as if our various pests are waging their own jihad against society. Kind of like a "six legs good, two legs bad" scenario.