A few items in the news...

A good day at CNN:

95-year-old man breaks 100-meter record

Notice they don't say the hundred meter what in the headline. Personally, I think they mean the hundred meter crawl...or perhaps the hundred meter wheeze...or even the hundred meter death throe; yeah, definitely that last one.


Boy Scout missing in Utah wilderness

Considering that this kid is eleven years old, I have only one thing to say....puma.


Police: Airborne car lands on sleeping man

Now the man is really sleeping. Turns out the driver was sleeping too. Everybody's sleeping; I'm sleeping as I type this. Can you tell?


100-mph winds batter North Dakota

Forecast for tomorrow: imminent deep frying, chance of spatters.


MORE NEWS
• Police shoot man in courthouse
• Defense rests in Mississippi trial

I think those two stories are connected....


You folks just sit back and relax, I'll do the reading for you.

~A