From CNN:

West Point grads undeterred four years after 9/11

They were ready to kill foreigners four years ago. Now they really want to kill foreigners.

~A

The news is just too good sometimes...

from 1010Wins

Bare Banker Busted

May 27, 2005 6:43 am US/Eastern
(1010 WINS) UNION BEACH, N.J. Monmouth County authorities say a nude banker wearing a condom jumped out of the woods and tried to sexually assault an off-duty female police officer who was out for a jog.

The woman grabbed a can of pepper spray and called police on her cell phone as she chased the man in Union Beach on Sunday. Authorities say the woman got the license plate number to a rental car, which authorities traced to John Kelly.

The 39-year-old surrendered to police yesterday. Officials say the Jersey City resident is a vice president for Chase in New York.

Kelly is charged with attempted sexual assault and lewdness.

Prosecutors would not release the female officer's name or say what department she works for.

A vice president of Chase in New York. Oh my god. I thought these guys preferred dungeons and doms not nudism. But you can tell he got an MBA by the fact he wore a condom. But can you imagine the scene? He's nude, he's dashing out of the bushes, he has an erection (something that really is hard to maintain while running) and he's got brightly colored latex on his cock.

Either he get's fired or his coworkers make him reenact the spectacle for their amusement.

~A

from 1010Wins

What's really hilarious is not the scam, but the first paragraph of the story:

Porn Star Collared In NJ Bank Scams

May 26, 2005 6:42 am US/Eastern
(1010 WINS) HACKENSACK, N.J. Police say a former adult movie star used her good looks and acting experience to bilk more than 40-thousand dollars from several North Jersey banks before being arrested this week.

Thirty-year-old Joy Marquart was known simply as ``Farrah'' when she starred in dozens of porn films during the 1990s with titles like ``Farrah's Deceptive Desires.''

Police say she dressed in an expensive business suit and used real customers' account information and fake I-Ds with her photo to make withdrawals of up to 75-hundred dollars.

They think she was working for a New York City crime ring that specializes in looting bank accounts and they are looking for her accomplices.

Marquart is being held on 105-thousand dollars bail at the Bergen County Jail.

Now really, what kind of acting experience could we be talking about here? Now that she's in the Bergen county jail, I think its time for a whole new series of porn movies.

~A

from CNN:

Paris Hilton ad attacked as soft porn

Critics say when it comes to Paris we've learned to expect so much more.

Find that film!!!!!

From SkyNews and TheForce.net comes this lovely little tidbit:

LightSabre Scrap Horror (you have to love the British terseness and compression in that headline)

Two people have been left with severe burns after their home-made Star Wars light sabre exploded and showered them in petrol.

Mark Webb and Shelley Mandiville are thought to have filled a fluorescent tube with fuel to imitate the screen weapon.

But their clothing caught fire during the mock fight in woodland near Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire, leaving Mr Webb with 40% burns.

Police said both he and Ms Mandiville, 17, were in a critical condition in hospital in Chelmsford, Essex.

A spokesman said fire crews called to the woodland found the pair on the ground.

Police think they had been filming themselves at the time.

One can only marvel at the sheer stupidity. I mean, I think I learned not to play with gasoline by the time I was 6, maybe 7, definitely by the age of 13. And then mixing it with some kind of powered neon tube?

It probably was a fantastic spectacle, better than the final duel.

~A

Obituary synchronicity

Another reason to read the obits. Yesterday I turned to the obit page in the times and first read the one at the bottom of the page:

George B. Dantzig Dies at 90; Devised Math Solution to Broad Problems

This guy is apparently responsible for inventing something I've never heard of: linear programming, apparently it's quite important in computer modelling of complex events. Then I read the obituary right above it:

Leonid Khachiyan Is Dead at 52; Advanced Computer Math

What was his specialty? Linear programming. Apparently, half ofthe linear programming field died yesterday. I think it's a plot. What did they know and why did the NSA want them iced? We can only hope that their secrets didn't die with them.

~A

from 1010wins

PLEASE HELP SAVE DAVINA DANIELS


.....No


~A

From CNN

Shuttle probed for landing gear cracks

The Space Shuttle Discovery is under investigation for off-color comments it reportedly made about its landing gear and other topics in a recent appearance at the "Boost 'er Spirits" Comedy Cellar in downtown Cape Canaveral Thursday. The nightspot, popular among astronauts, NASA officials, and retired orbital vehicles was packed and the audience reportedly was aghast at the poor taste of Discovery's monologue. A sampling follows:

Thank you, thank you, thank you....gosh it's great to be here. Y'know, I just flew in from space and boy are my arms tired (silence). Gosh tough crowd, tough crowd tonight. I haven't heard this much silence since communications with Columbia went dead.....(silence). I hope I don't crash and burn, give me a hand up here...Maybe you've read in the news that I'm having problems with my "landing gear". Frankly, I'm embarassed to talk about it, it's like erectile dysfunction: Most guys can't get it up....I can't get it down (silence). Maybe I need to try out them O-rings, but I've never been into S&M....Really now. I've been waiting to launch into space for months and it's nothing but delay after delay....I know how to get me into space. NASA, all you need for me to launch into orbit is some grade A cocaine and a prostitute. I'll be flying high for weeks. Think about it. Broads and some blow; I won't even need booster rockets, those are for pussies (audience boos). Speaking of broads, have you seen my crew? Yow! That [Flight Commander] Eileen Collins is one hot dame. So what if she's married, you think she takes her wedding ring on the mission? No sirree. And I tell you, nothing like leaving the planet to make a girl forget about her commitments. Whydya think those flight suits come with such a big zipper? Easy on, easy off, I say. I can crank up the heat on the cabin so everybody gets a little steamy and just see how fast that crew forgets their "mission priorities". They'll be too busy with missionary priorities if you know what I mean; and all sorts of new "experiments", yeah experimental positions. Y'know, I've been told that, in space, no one can hear you moan. And let me tell you, there is nothing quite as sweet as weightlessness to enhance a girl's figure---sheer bliss! And just so you guys don't think the benefits are all one sided, zero-g works better than a Swedish pump. You should try it sometime.

Hey, what's black and white and red all over?....The Challenger!

Thanks again and have a lovely night. Remember, I'll be appearing at Splash Down next week. And all you guys out there, you can catch me at Re(ar) Entry in July. I hope to see you there, just don't sneak up behind me. (dead silence)



~A

My latest CL post

Yes, I'm addicted. Not to the cheap sex and quick thrills--those are nice--but to the instant gratification of writing little humorous squibs. Perhaps it's a way of stoking my ego, though since I hardly get any responses, I don't know why that would work. I like this concept, but I think the post needs some tweaking.

Welcome to the Museum of Me!

Hi! So glad you could stop by and visit this wonderful cultural landmark: Me! Let me show you around.

On your right, in the early years gallery, you can see exhibits of important childhood development. Yes, I was cute as a button then; all down hill after that. Star Wars toys, stuffed animals, all original! You clearly see the passage through my fireman phase, my cowboy phase and my ballerina phase. Embarrassing now, sure, but key stages in my growth. These rooms are slated for renovation in 2008.

On your left are the early school years fully documenting playground beatings, the developing inability to compete at sports, and a growing egotism. Y’know, the sense that I’m special is written all over this place really. Vitrines 1-8 contain my crushed hopes. Also note the beginning creative streak in the drawings of superheroes, spaceships and explosions. Gotta love those explosions!

Up ahead are the rooms devoted to the late school years and high school. I should warn you, some visitors find these galleries oppressive. But the exhibits are leavened by a growing intelligence and self awareness even as that’s balanced by increasing depression and nihilism. The art is really quite good here but the poetry won’t win any awards. You can buy copies in the gift shop. Ignore the preppy style. It was all the fashion then.

We’ll skip over the college years and the 20s. Really it’s just more of the same. But stop back to see my pony tail and combat boots. I make no apologies. The new galleries for my 30s just opened. Nice aren’t they? Real modern. You can practically sense a growing optimism and confidence in the design and displays. Lots of books here. Sure I’ve read all my life, but it makes a better impact all displayed together. Is there a question in the back? That’s quite observant, no art. Turns out there was no money in art for me. Books! Books were my future…and information design. But it sounds better to say books. Hey, is somebody smoking? No smoking is allowed in the galleries. Take that outside, bucko.

We’re out of time for now. But please visit the Museum of Me again! New galleries open every year. The cafeteria is down the stairs to your left. And remember that admission is free Mondays and Wednesdays (or whenever you read this message) and Fridays and Saturdays we’re open late for singles night! Soon we’re expecting our 100th visitor. Stop by again and you could be the lucky one!

Then we’ll have to open the Museum of We. I’ll look forward to it.

My latest CL post....

I'm Perfect

No really I am. I'm sure you're skeptical, that's only reasonable, especially on Craigs List. And I'm not saying I'm perfect in a Platonic way, c'mon, those shapes only exist as imaginary mental constructs. No, I'm real here and now.

Let me list my perfect qualities for you:

I'm awake. Perfectly so. So many people say they're awake, but they're really asleep. Even if they're typing. Liars.

I can walk a straight line. Except when I'm drunk. But doing this sober is still quite a feat. I must be perfect.

I can whistle. Sure, you might say that I whistle off key, but that's only according to a modern conception of a well tempered 8 tone scale. My whistling is perfectly in tune with the spheres. If you listen closely, you can tell that Pluto is resonating.

I am perfectly inept at basketball...or baseball, or football, or any other sport, croquet included. Really, try me. I can prove it.

I know almost every word in the dictionary. Well, okay, that's a slight exaggeration. It really depends on what dictionary you use. In this case I approach perfection so closely, you need a microscope to tell the difference. Why, do you have a microscope?

I have perfect blemishes. No I don't have any Marilyn Monroe style beauty marks. What is up with those things anyway? But if you examine my various pimples, scars, and carbuncles, you will have to admit they are pretty ideal. I mean, have you ever sought to define the perfect zit? I have, and it's on my right shoulder.

My ignorance is perfect. It's not absolute, nosirree, but when I examine what I don't know, I can only conclude I don't know exactly the right things. Like who won Survivor...or what Paris Hilton's phone number is...or even who Brad Pitt is currently dating. Those are pretty perfect things not to know.

My inseam is perfect. 33 1/2 inches. Pictures can't capture its beauty. But truly, 32 inches, 34 inches...nothing else quite makes the cut.

I have the perfect cat. You'll agree, once you get to know her. See? Perfect, just like I said. Despite her intestinal problems.

So if I'm so perfect, why am I here? Because I think perfect people can have fun together. Are you perfect in these ways? Other ways? Maybe you're perfect in a way that will surprise me.

Perhaps you are perfect when you crawl out of bed with a hangover and stumble to the bathroom. There's an art to this. God knows I've tried. I'm working on it.

Perhaps you pick your nose with an unmatchable insouciance.

Perhaps you can hopscotch in such a way as to put all those eight-year olds to shame...It's possible.

Or perhaps you are simply, perfectly, inimitably yourself. That might be best of all, if not as showy.

But I'd like to meet you. If only to congratulate you on such perfection.

Let me know, and pics are appreciated.


Good, nu? Don't tell me. I'm full of myself.

Strange perversions...

This reminds me that once I was walking up the stairs of the Astor Pl. subway station and saw somebody filming up the skirts of women. I knew these things happened but didn't expect it to be so obvious or brazen. The woman being filmed was ahead of me and was walking to fast so that by the time I would have gotten to her she would have been down the block. Besides which I was too shocked to do anything practical such as smash the man's camera.

But the real question is what the pleasure of this specific pornography is. Certainly the illicit voyeurism can be a powerful charge, but the payoff here is very tiny. It seems there are better ways to view women's underwear. At any rate, I am impressed with the creativity of this solution:

So-Called "Skirt Cam" Found Under Subway Grate On Upper East Side

Police found a so-called "skirt cam" under a subway grate at 88th Street and Lexington Avenue Tuesday afternoon after a woman called police saying she had noticed suspicious wires protruding from the grate as she passed by.

Police closed off the street, fearing the device was a bomb, but soon realized it was a four-inch multi-media camera recording and pointing upward. The camera had an external hard-drive, making it possible for recordings to be broadcast on television and downloaded onto the internet.

Police do not consider the camera to be a threat to public safety, but rather a threat to privacy.


~A

Star Wars is here again...

If only for one last time.

I will not state my enthusiasm nor critical response to the resent movies. Only that I still thrill in the most adolescent way to the mere appearance of a new film. I know I will enjoy it, however much I also dislike it. The New York Times gave it a good review today (with the normal qualifications) so that is a very good sign indeed of the general improvement over the prior films.

Time to Celebrate!

~A

A new CL ad...

I don't think too highly of this one but it was fun to write. I think I would be scared of anyone who answered it in earnest (noone has yet).

Be my Wrecking Ball...

Me: The titanic, the trailer home, the fishing boat, the china shop, Hiroshima

You: The iceberg, the tornado, the perfect storm, the bull, the A bomb

I want you to plunge into my life and rip it to shreds. I want you to stick your hand in my chest and crush my heart. I want you to leave my life an irradiated wasteland. I want to groan in pain and and wonder what mack truck just hit me.

Some people want to be swept off their feet. I want to be demolished. Some people speak of a whirlwind romance; I want a real whirlwind. Put my bleeding corpse on the front page of the Post. Let the headline read: Love Leaves Swath of Destruction. I figure it will be worth it for the few seconds before I lose consciousness.

I must be a masochist.

Or maybe I'm just tired of the same old dating rituals, meet, click, hookup, depart, repeat ad infinitum. I want to be blind sided and not be able to forget that something just happened.

Can you do this to me? I'm cute, erudite, slightly nerdy, out there in thought, willing to take a chance, walk a tightrope, high dive into a paper cup.

Show me that I've been playing it safe all my life. I want to live more dangerously.

Signed,

The storm chaser


~A

Just like in the cartoons....

Woman, 70, survives nine-story fall

Thursday, May 12, 2005 Posted: 5:28 AM EDT (0928 GMT)

VIDEO
An elderly Florida woman falls nine stories -- and lives.
PLAY VIDEO


FORT LAUDERDALE, Florida (AP) -- A 70-year-old woman survived a nine-story fall from a condominium tower Wednesday when she landed on a canopy, officials said.

Gloria Jummati was cleaning her balcony at Coral Ridge Towers when she fell and landed on a first-floor canopy, according to the Fort Lauderdale Fire-Rescue.

Jummati was alert and talking when rescuers arrived.

She was transported to Broward General Medical Center with a broken arm and other non-life-threatening injuries, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported.

And to think they captured it on video. I wonder if we should fully trust the explanation of why she fell. You might think that if she was trying to commit suicide, her survival might dismay her severely.

~A

Someone stole my CL ad!

This week, due to some strategizing about when and how frequently to repeat posts, I have been getting some positive responses. And as proof that (poor) imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, someone has copied me. Well, in New Haven someone already copied me, but Connecticut CL absolutely sucks; to stand out on the New York board is much more of an achievement.

Here is my post:

Normal, Serious, Dull as dirt...

...Things I'm not.

Things I am: playful, creative, funny, well read, red haired, an alien in human form bent on taking over the planet (I'm still discovering this side of myself).

What I like: women who wear sneakers, whippersnappers, smarty pants, crosswords, schadenfreude.

What I won't make you do (but may willingly join you in doing): dance at clubs, watch football, drink jello shots, wear high heels, worship satan

What I might make you do: sleep in, watch movies, take walks, be yourself, look at art, worship satan (I haven't made up my mind on this one)

about me: 33-ish, tallish, thinnish, smartish, knish

pictures please

And here is the woman's pale imitation:

Dont't be too Normal (34-48)

I try to be normal and sometimes I can pull-it-off.
‘Suppose eccentric may best fit my description.

Things I am: Clever, honest, funny, employed, well read, spontaneous, observant, open-minded and loquacious.
I am a girl with opinions and accept that you will also have your own.

What I like: Men who arty, adventurous, solvent, sexy, empathetic and edgy. Maybe you are a horse whisperer or play the nose-flute.

What I might like you to do: thrift shop with me, take walks, wash my hair, be yourself, look at art or share a meal with me.

What I won't want you to do (but may willingly join you in doing): eat menudo, go to the track excessively, make crank phone calls, wear mandles or worship Satan.

Somehow this may all come together in some strange way and make eventual sense.

I'm looking to meet people who may change my life or at least pique my interest.

Is that you?

Let me know and oh, send an image of your likeness.


What is odd is that it actually combines two of my posts. Most of it is the body of the post above. But another post I wrote is one that begins and ends like this:

Don't Be Normal I try to be normal, but I'm not sure it always works[......]Let me know, oh and send a pic.

Notice how it kept some of my best lines (worship satan, "let me know and oh") yet has reworded most of it to remove the (I must say) most excellent rhythm and lilt of the original. Completely without real style. Though, if I hadn't written the original, I might feel compelled to respond. As it is, I responded to her anyway. I suspect it is someone who already had answered my ad but didn't like my photo or something. Tsk.

~A

My latest CL ad

This has actually gotten a respectable response. The general reaction is that its really funny, as in "[I] nearly fell off my chair" and "Gosh, I giggled like a litlle girl" and "swell post!". Yet I don't think its as witty as previous posts. What can you do?


A4Z

I'm an alien seeking a zombie.

Or maybe I'm an amoeba seeking a zygote (does that make any sense? I forget biology)

Wouldn't it be nice if we could meet that one person who covered all the bases, all the letters of the alphabet? Someone who could be our alpha and omega? This is unrealistic of course. That's why we have friends and acquaintances, people who supply outlets for those interests our significant others can't provide.

So if we can't be everything to each other, lets just begin with some thing. Why not start with just one letter of the alphabet. You can pick. You could be...

F: funny, frolicsome, freaky (fabulousness optional)
B: Brainy, batty, beautiful, Bohemian
K: Kittenish, a knitter, collect knick knacks, like knockwurst
W: Wispy, waifish, a WASP, like waffles, worry
G: Giggly, grotesque, googly-eyed, gorgeous
M: Maundering, mordant, murderous, Machiavellian, mopey

...and lots of other letters to choose from. Your choice. If you're daring, you can use more than one letter, but maybe its safer not to go crazy.

Assonance and consonance earn bonus points. You might also instruct me as to why an abecedarian view of dating might be limiting. Sure, there are hundreds of thousands of words in the language, but can they really capture that thing between two people? Convince me its not possible.

As for me? Well, I'm lank, limber, loony, a librarian, lofty, lazy, louche, as well as tall, thin, thirty-three, thick skinned, thirsty, thrifty, and all thumbs.

Pics preferred,
Pepper in you paprikash


Tell me what you think.

~A

My underpass is nice and clean again

In follow up to the Jesus is in my underpass story below. Some unfortunate cynic (heretic) defaced the image of the Virgin Mary created by leaking water in Chicago. The city, not to be cowed by religious sentiment, then painted over the graffiti. Sometimes, I think, the separation of church and state is a very good thing.

Police: Man defaced underpass Virgin Mary image



~A

Why Long Island is evil...

Another example of how Long Island is really a festering, putrefying, moldering stew of society. Sure, it has some nice spots. But still...

CRUEL SANTA

ay 6, 2005 7:14 am US/Eastern
(1010 WINS) EAST NORTHPORT, N.Y. A 76-year-old man who trapped birds and crushed their heads was arrested Thursday, police said.

Animal protection authorities searched William Thomas' Long Island home after receiving complaints from neighbors, Suffolk County police said in a news release.

Officers with the Suffolk County Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals said they confiscated traps and collected the carcasses of several dead animals found on the property. Police said they were charging Thomas with animal cruelty.

Neighbors say Thomas has a long white beard and sometimes dresses like Santa Claus.



Fact Trumps Fiction most days of the week
~A

A sticky legal situation

Now, isn't possession nine tenths of ownership?

Store: Man who found finger in custard refuses to return it


I don't know the answer to this one folks.

~A

Good news!

My underwear is on right today. Yay!

~A

Some people are just no good....

I truly believe that the Abu Gharib scandal was caused by government leniency, official "looking the other way" and other types of intentional malfeasance. However this guy just sounds like a guy who was in the right place at the right time, considering his proclivities.

Ex-wife: Charles Graner a 'monster'

This is the guy that was screwing Lynndie England but is now married to another woman he was serving with in Iraq. He's also serving 10 years for the scandal, but it was his testimony that (intentionally?) caused a mistrial in England's case.

Anyway, the crux of this posting is that anything that can produce the quote below is to be appreciated in this world:

"He's like my Hannibal Lecter, he really is. He's the monster in my life," said Morris, who has two teenage children from her 10-year marriage with Graner, the central figure in the Abu Ghraib abuse of Iraqi prisoners.

~A

Strange naming conventions

'Precious Doe' is Identified

Yes its true. Four years after finding the beheaded corpse. When asked how they came up with the name, it was revealed that headless corpses of infants are always named Precious; which they are, really. Whereas if the corpse was only slightly mutilated, it would have been named "Angel Doe". If the corpse exhibited signs of bludgeoning, the appropriate designation is "Play Doe". If signs of cannibalism are present, "Cookie Doe" is the relevant moniker. Other titles given to such discoveries are, depending on the particular injury: "Lefty" Doe (amputation), "Mat" Doe (crushing), Doe "Berman" (dog attack), "Bob" Doe (drowning).

Remember, no name is too saccharine when it comes to publicly proclaiming our love of a dead body.

~A

Why I stay Humble

Today I am wearing my underwear backwards. How did this happen? I don't know, quite. I didn't discover the fact until around 11 am when I stood in front of a urinal for a couple of minutes fumbling for the fly. I wear boxers by the way, like all reasonable men. I suppose the other guys washing their hands or making use of the facilities thought I was merely pleasuring myself.

It reminds me of the day I left my fly unzipped in the morning and didn't discover the fact until I was on the subway. I was standing on the train and the guy sitting directly in front of me kept making eye contact. I was kind of flattered. But then I noticed that he kept making eye contact then flicking his eyes towards my crotch. And of course, once I discovered the reason, what could I do?

So I am a humble person. And if ever my ego starts to get out of hand, you'll know it will be short lived.

Feel free to razz me appropriately.

~A

Relocations

NJ Town Creating Pedophile-Free Zone

Large portions of this Mercer County community could be off-limits to convicted sex offenders under an ordinance introduced Tuesday night.

The ordinance would create "pedophile-free zones" by prohibiting anyone convicted of a sex offense against a minor from living within 2,500 feet of a school, park, playground or day care center.

The 24 public schools, six private schools, 30 parks and numerous day care centers and playgrounds would make it difficult for any convicted sex offender to find a home in the 40 square-mile township.

"If this ordinance makes it more difficult for a sex offender to find a place to live, it is a consequence of their actions that they are responsible for," said Mayor Glen Gilmore, who introduced the ordinance.


In other news, NAMBLA has announced the formation of NAMBLAville, a pedophile friendly township soon to be located somewhere in Nevada...or Togo. All sorts of people will be welcome to relocate to NAMBLAville, though of course certain preferences will be in effect.


~A

The wrong headline

I know that the shootings on the Los Angeles freeway aren;t really funny (though I often think of it as just desserts). But sometimes (well, often) abbreviated headlines just don't work. I mean, if the want to know who is doing the shootings. I think they found them.

From CNN:

California sets up freeway shooting team

So now its a sport I guess. Soon we'll have some good interleague play.

CL today

This post has gotten some interesting responses. I'm not sure that its due to the post, or just good timing.

Normal, Serious, Dull as Dirt--33

Things I'm not.

Things I am: playful, creative, funny, an alien in human form bent on taking over the planet (I'm still discovering this side of myself).

What I like: women who wear sneakers, short hair, whippersnappers, smarty pants, long books, plane crashes.

What I won't make you do (but may willingly accompany you in doing): dance at clubs, watch football, drink jello shots, worship satan

What I might make you do: sleep in, watch movies, take walks, be yourself, worship satan (I haven't made up my mind on this one)

about me: 33-ish, tallish, thinnish, smartish, knish

pictures please

~A

Define "Irony"

Heart patient dies after 2,400-mile bike ride

You might want to ask: "why push it?" You're just asking for a bitch slap from God.


~A

Falling limbs

I am late in posting this story. It really is worth the attention.

From CNN:

Skydiver hits a plane and dies
Albert "Gus" Wing III had already deployed his parachute Saturday when he struck the left wing of the DHC-6 Twin Otter propeller plane at about 600 feet, a witness on the ground told police.

Both of Wing's legs were severed at the knees, but he managed to maneuver his parachute and land near the DeLand Airport, about 40 miles north of Orlando, DeLand Police Cmdr. Randel Henderson said.

He was airlifted to a hospital, where he later died, Henderson said.

This really is a tough break. I kind of picture a scene where a plane was trying to play a game with itself, like jacks. Score: Parachutists 14, Plane 1.

The good pull quote: "Mike Johnston, general manager of Skydive DeLand, said the accident was not common."

That's a good thing because, if it was common, the FAA would start requiring that each person's limb have its own emergency chute.

I think they should call this maneuver the human cluster bomb.

~A

No, no, no professionals here

Does anyone actually refer to themselves, like on a resume, as a professional bomb maker? I wouldn;t think so. Personally, I would prefer the term demolitions or explosives expert. Or maybe even chain reaction instigator.

But I guess its only the amateurs who dream of such things:

"Amateur Bomb Maker" Arrested in Suffolk


Its all just for fun folks.

~A

from CNN

Teens adrift at sea rescued after six days

The good quote: "I asked God to take me," 15-year-old Troy Driscoll said as he lay in a hospital emergency room. "You're out there fighting for your life. We didn't want to fight anymore."

Its this type of story that makes me believe God doesn't exist. Really. Take them already.